This was the very first challenge on the Sunday Scribblings blog and it also happens to be the one that inspired me to begin. If I knew I would not fail I would write. Yes, I know, I write all the time as a student but I’m talking about really writing, as in authorship.
Ever since I was a little girl I have harboured a secret desire to be an author. I have piles of old notebooks and pieces of paper filled with characters that I created, floor plans (because how am I supposed to write a great story about a bunch of girls if I don’t know what their bedrooms look like?!), and the beginnings of novels, usually about twelve-year-old girls. I also have journals going back to grade five or so. Nothing ever got finished though, and I’ve found that over the years my writing really tapered off.
I got scared. Teachers in elementary and secondary school started putting negative comments like “Rebecca doesn’t apply herself”, “bright but lazy” and “I know you are capable of so much more” on my report cards. I started getting this paralyzing fear of failing in my schoolwork and the solution was to just not hand anything in at all rather than risk handing something in and receiving a less than stellar mark. (Yes, I am aware that this is not logical, and I have been working hard to get over this!)
As it turns out, the comments on the report card and the inability to finish things (or even get started in some cases) stems from the fact that I have ADHD. In the past few months I have started treatment and I am beginning to face things that have seemed impossibly scary in the past. One of these things is writing. So here I am. Writing. I will attempt to keep writing, even if it’s only to complete the Sunday Scribbling challenge each week.